Some Calculations

You were always well-balanced at school, The one most likely to succeed. But, as you said, there was a streak Of insanity in your family.

Your father, the butcher, cut off his Little finger while watching Mrs. Balinski bend over to inspect The quality of hamburger meat.

Meanwhile, your mother was storing her Bottles of vodka behind loose Bricks in the fireplace – hopefully your Little sister wouldn't find them.

It was only natural that you would Develop a love for equations With so much raw material around: (Job) × (Family) = misery.

You vanished into the Midwest after School and spent five years In seven universities without ever Graduating – you figured that

Caution would make a good cornerstone: (Choice) × (Method) = act = pain. Or this one, sent to me on a postcard: (Needs) − (Desires) = Buddhism.

Now you call me up from my sleep to say You are in a phone booth in a bar Somewhere in Pittsburgh – you found that You had begun counting fingers.

You apologize for reversing the costs, Explaining that the situation Is bad, the equations gone – you say: I've had it – send geraniums!